Ahhh, I can't understand.

I wonder why things sometimes seem to walk backwards. I was surprised, really.

I was meant to go to USA next year, to study, work, and then, live there. But I didn't know it could be this soon. August. I have until August to decide it... or better: on August, it'll be classes start there, and if I want to study on Florida, I HAVE to be there, on school, this day. It caught me by surprise.

I... I don't want to leave! Not yet! I just... don't feel ready to leave. It feels like throwing everything through the window, leaving everything behind with no care...

And... just when... I could doubt if I really like that someone, in that special way... It comes to my knowledge I have no doubt and just try to avoid thinking I'm not mistaken. Now that I won't be able to see this person easily as I could before if I "go away".

I don't know... things can walk backwards again, and maybe I won't go this year, as I really planned. I love my school, I love my classmates, I love my friends... I love... ...
I need time to think... It'll be great to my future, working there. I need time... time... I wish time could stop.

I think it's like I told to my father. Unfortunately, things aren't as we would like them to be, and aren't easy as we would like them to be.

I'll think... I'll find a solution. I know I can do it. At least, to meet them before I go. Yes.

I can do it.